♈ Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19): Aries, you’re way too bold to be a scrub — but you’ll still entertain one just because chaos is your love language. You’ll be like, “He’s trash, but I’m bored, so let’s see how this plays out.”
♉ Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): Taurus, please. You’d never seriously date a scrub — unless he’s buying you dinner. Then suddenly you’re like, “Sure, I’ll put up with his busted car, but only if dessert is included.”
♊ Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): Gemini, scrubs love you and honestly, you kinda love them back. You’ll clown them in your group chat, but still answer that “wyd” text at midnight.
♋ Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22): Cancer, you’ll swear up and down you don’t mess with scrubs… but we all saw you crying over one last week. Admit it, you love a fixer-upper.
♌ Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22): Leo, you’d never touch a scrub with a ten-foot pole. You’ll roast them, block them, and then give yourself a round of applause because honestly, you deserve better.
♍ Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22): Virgo, you can clock a scrub faster than anyone else. You’ll be like, “Oh, his passenger seat is covered in Taco Bell wrappers? Yeah, this isn’t gonna work.”
♎ Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22): Libra, somehow you’re always “not into scrubs,” yet here you are again. You just get charmed too easily by a pretty face with no ambition.
♏ Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): Scorpio, a scrub wouldn’t dare play you. And if they tried? Congrats, they just signed up for the scariest horror movie of their life.
♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21): Sag, hate to say it… but sometimes you are the scrub. You’ll cancel plans because you decided to take a random trip and then be like, “What? That’s not scrub behavior, that’s adventure.”
♑ Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19): Capricorn, you don’t even see scrubs. Like, they’re invisible to you because your standards are higher than their rent. If they can’t keep up, you don’t even waste the eye contact.
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18): Aquarius, you’re not a scrub, you’re just allergic to labels. You’ll hit someone with, “I’m just vibing” while they’re already planning the wedding.
♓ Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): Pisces, you’ll defend your scrub like he’s Prince Charming. “He’s not broke, he’s just misunderstood!” Girl, he borrowed his mom’s car to pick you up.